encouragment

He sent me a letter yesterday.  It was almost as good as hearing his voice.  But it ended all too soon.  I hope that you are reading my blogs my love.  In a way, they are like letters to you.  I shall write to you soon but only when I feel its appropriate.  I don't want to let my emotions rule me even though they are all I can feel right now.  Its so sad, this tragic battle.  I want it to go away.  I'm really feeling the pain of our consequences.

Encouragement.  So many people have been my encouragement.  So strange how people just find out from each other.

My mother- She has been so sensitive to me and my struggles even though she has so much going on in her own heart.  I do not know what I would do without her.  She is constantly reminding there is so much more for God to do in my heart before I talk to spencer.  boo.

My sister- She is always making sure I am okay, even though the answer stays the same.  But I feel that her and I are growing closer through this which makes me so happy.

Brady??- So strange but he called after Spencer visited him at work, just to make sure I was doing okay.  I felt really blessed that he would call and just listen to my woes.  

Ali-  I have not been the best friend to her since...well a while.  But God has blessed me with such a wonderfully forgiving friend.  There have been a few things that have been pulling us apart but its amazing how God can just bring two people back together again.

Elise and Stephanie- Always checking up on me and did not leave my side the first night.  It has helped so much.  Whenever I want to text or call spencer I just call them.  I don't know what I would do without them.

God-  Well obviously he is the most encouragement.  He has been revealing himself to me more then ever before.  

Today I got to talk to Chantal for a bit and she said something that was so incredible.  This is hard, and I have to suffer, but think of what JESUS suffered JUST to be with me?  I think I owe it to him.  Everyday, every time I doubt my decision because I just miss him so much, God reminds me that he loves me and when he is in control, amazing things happen.  I have not felt this way in so long,  I just hope spencer is getting the same.  I feel our hearts have always learned in the same way and that wont change.  We are such kindred spirits. 

Every night I pray for Spencer, and our trial, and our experience.  And that God would give us wisdom.